Day 19 (a cheat)

I did some writing but none of it was remotely publishable (not even for the extremely relaxed standards of this blog.)  I was too distracted by my thoughts after going to an information session about grad school.  I’m thinking I’ll apply.   For a Creative Writing degree.  Because I’m that sucker.  Really it’s because it’s something hard, that I feel passionate about.  Everything I’ve done in my education and my professional career has prepared me for giving and for helping and this.  This would be for me. 

At the meeting with this professor, I kept thinking I was going to tear up.  It was the damnest thing.  Nothing was going wrong in the conversation.  Quite the contrary.  And then he told me that when he was in college there were students who took bets on who was going to cry.  That type of statement usually raises my hackles.  I’m usually ready to duke it out and prove that I’m not the spineless worm you might take me for, I’ll not cry!  But, in this situation, I thought, “Oh my god, I’m going to cry.  If I do this, I will cry.”  And instead of scaring me, this made it clear that it is exactly what I should do.  That it will push me to develop parts of myself that I’ve stifled.  Because this is something I don’t know if I’ll be good at or not. 

And because I need some help and some structure to my writing.  More than just a commitment to daily writing.  I need help with the rewriting.  I just finish something and then run away from it like hell and hope it doesn’t follow me.  So I’ll probably be publishing some stuff you don’t want to read soon like my admissions essays. I’ll be working and reworking those.  Should be *yawn* fascinating.  Nature vs. nurture is one of the topics, I hear.  Yuck.   

Anyway, tomorrow I should have a short story post about a mom.  Then sometime coming I should have a poem I’m working on with a friend about women hating women.  I like the topic.  It’s easier to talk about than write about.  Which means it will be a special challenge not to be long winded about it.  And that means it’s right up my sixmonthsofwriting alley.